Leaders Build Leaders: How Miles Kitselman’s influence is shaped by those around him
By: Sarah Portanka
5:30 a.m. wake up. 110-degree Kansas heat. Work to do. Bills to pay. A family to support. Zero
complaints.
That was the life that Tennessee tight end Miles Kitselman admired his father, David Kitselman, for providing while he grew up in Lyndon, Kansas.
“You see somebody like that doing that for you, then that just makes you want to do that for other people,” Kitselman said.
His father’s work ethic is one Kitselman strives to replicate on the football field.
Translate it into football, it's 5:30 in the morning, and I'm not working in construction; I get to live out my dreams. So why would I not have positive energy and bring people with me along the way?Miles Kitselman
Being a leader does not mean being perfect. It means putting in the work to earn the trust of your teammates and coaches. Before practice even begins, Kitselman is in the Anderson Training Center putting in the extra work.
“I'm really proud of myself. Because I'm not the most athletic, I have to do everything right to get an edge on those people who are more athletic than me,” Kitselman said. “Whether that's coming in early every single day and getting my body right, making sure that I can actually be on the field, doing extra time on installs, making sure that I'm detailed all my footwork, detailed on my hand placement … I know every single look, I know what to do on every single play. When you do that over and over and over again for a couple of months, coaches see that.”
That work certainly caught the eye of tight ends coach Alec Abeln.
"Like you would expect Miles to, he’s pissed at me half the time because he wants to do more,” Abeln said during fall camp while Kitselman worked his way back from offseason surgery. “He's going to push that as hard as he can. He’s ahead of schedule, doing a great job with it, but just like you'd expect him to do it."
That extra work isn’t always easy. When Kitselman struggles to find motivation, he looks to his “why.”
“You always have to have a ‘why,’” Kitselman said. “My dad worked his butt off for 25 years working in construction and still gets up and goes to work every day … My mom is a broker, so she owns a real estate firm and my dad's a general contractor. I have seen how hard that they have worked for me to get here. My ‘why’ is to someday retire them … I have a fiancée, and being able to take care of her like my dad took care of my mom and my family, that's my ‘why.’”
It’s his “why” that reaffirms that, for Kitselman, being a leader is not a choice; it’s a responsibility.
When you have people like that in your life saying, ‘Hey, we need you to be a leader,’ then, what are you going to do? You don't have an option. You have to step up.Miles Kitselman
Kitselman came to Tennessee in the spring of 2024 after playing for two years at Alabama and one year at Hutchinson Community College in Kansas. Despite his short time in Knoxville, he has developed into one of the team's leaders and one of the country’s top tight ends, logging 30 catches for 380 yards and five touchdowns in his first 16 starts for the Big Orange.
“It's tough when you come in as a transfer, because the first job you have to do is earn the trust and respect of your teammates,” Abeln said about Kitselman. “I think part of him is feeling more comfortable in just earning their trust. I think he clearly established that he's a guy we can count on during the fall and understands there’s space for leadership this year. This team has taken it to heart.”
Kitselman’s situation is similar to what Tennessee quarterback Joey Aguilar is experiencing this year. Both players stepped into starting offensive roles demanding initiative. Becoming an established leader in either role is difficult without relationships and trust within the program.
More importantly, leadership cannot coexist without friendship.
That friendship started with a simple Instagram DM. Upon Aguilar’s signing, Kitselman messaged him, inviting him to grab a meal and get to know each other.
“Joey and I got something to eat, talked for a couple of hours and just got to know each other,” Kitselman said. “We obviously talked about his football journey and how he got here from JUCO to App State … We talked about off the field, about his girlfriend and their relationship, about his parents and how they've always believed in him and been his backbone. I could just feel that he was a really genuine, great guy.”
Kitselman recalled it was Aguilar’s personality that first caught his attention and what made it so easy to become close friends in such a short time.
We're very outgoing. We're very real. We don't put on a fake smile. I really appreciate that about Joey. Whenever he first stepped on, he didn't try to act like somebody he wasn't. He was just himself, and that's how I am too … I just really appreciated that, and I think that's why we got along so well right off the bat.Miles Kitselman
Whether it’s his family, father, fiancée or his QB1, those closest to Kitselman remain the foundation of his leadership. As he suits up for his fifth and final year of college football, Kitselman has learned to lead through the support of those he carries with him.